Wind and Sandstone
by Ajora
Summary: In the midst of a sandstorm, Ryo reflects on his place in the Digital World and his relationship with Cyberdramon


Wind and Sandstone  
-by Ajora Fravashi  
*Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon Tamers. Toei/Bandai does. They also have all my money.  
*Note: May contain spoilers for Digimon Tamers episodes 28/29, if you can consider character introspection spoilery. You've been warned. I confess, it was inspired by Best Tamers 5. 

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Hard winds lashed against my flesh, pelting sand into my face and the bandanna that was covering my nose and mouth from the onslaught. I shifted closer to a rocky outcrop in the sands to escape the winds for the moment. It just figures that I'd get myself stuck in a sandstorm. I should have been firmer in my insistence that my partner remain with me in shelter for the time being, after we were supposed to have taken care of his bloodlust. But no, I just had to be an idiot and let him run off right into the heart of a budding sandstorm. Even better, I was stupid enough to follow him. Way to go, Ryo. 

I growled at my stupidity and beat my gauntlet against the sandstone boulder that sheltered me for the moment, pounding at it with metal knuckles with increasing force. Out of my own stupidity I've lost him. It was a while before I was too exhausted to go further, and when I was I withdrew the gauntlet and stared sullenly at the metal-induced scrapes in the banded stone. Dammit! 

Sighing, I sat at the boulder's base with my back to the winds and cursed myself for losing my temper like that. I was supposed to have been raised to bottle such urges. With Cyberdramon around I at least had someone else to think about, but now there was nothing but myself. I hate being alone like this. 

Once I heard that the multihued bands in sandstone reflected the history of the strata, something geologists used to study ecology from the buildup of sediments and such. History. I don't remember much of my own, oddly enough. It's probably for the best. It was as if I had taken my old self and broken him long ago. What I do remember, though... 

I was like a sleepwalker in the real world, it wasn't until I met Cyberdramon and entered the Digital World that I actually felt alive. All that interested me then was being the best at something, anything to prove my worth. All right, so being a genius at card battles was hardly worthy enough to gain my parents' approval, but it was something to do and something to focus on. And for the first time in my life, people actually paid attention to me. 

Nothing else drew my attention, nothing else seemed to be worth the time. Only the competition and challenges interested me. There had been tournaments I've won, but I don't remember who competed against me or who might have been a challenge. It seemed like I was always asleep in the waking world. 

Then Cyberdramon came to wake me up, to breathe new life into this stagnant soul. Who knew someone like me would have a digimon partner? Oh, but it was not as wonderful as I thought it would have been, for I soon came to realize that Cyberdramon's natural inclination for violence was a risk for our relationship and the humans around us. The other humans would take him away from me, I reminded him time and again, if he did any more damage. 

No regrets formed when I decided to spare my world from Cyberdramon's power and went with him to the Digital World. It was like the world itself called out to me and ushered me onwards, and there was no turning back. I was so distant from my parents in the first place that I didn't think that my disappearance would bother them all that much, and I had no real friends back there. All I left was a note that I had to find myself, my station in life, and that I had to take Cyberdramon someplace where he wouldn't be a risk to the people of my world. 

It was hard living on my own at first, with nothing but a pocket knife for self-defense. My days were often spent either trying to figure out this world or preventing Cyberdramon from killing something that wasn't the enemy we sought. But I lived. I survived. This world had taught me that to hesitate was to lose and that one should never turn his back on the enemy. It had shown me that to show weakness was to die. For the first time I was free of the restraints of the society that raised me. I was free to act on my impulses, to go where the wind would take me. 

I didn't have to be the perfect little boy everyone expected me to be anymore. I didn't have to smile winningly at people I knew who hated me, I didn't have to stand by and accept their thinly veiled contempt. Because they weren't here. I didn't have to be the model of the perfect Japanese boy anymore, so damn polite and self-effacing and courteous. Cyberdramon channeled the rage I pent up over the years for me. And here, the population actually respected me to an extent. Oh, I've tried to dissuade them from their praises over the months, but it became an exercise in futility and instead I simply accepted it all. It wasn't like they listened to my protests the first few times anyway. 

Smiling at the scars I left on the sandstone, I traced them lightly with a thumb. I was free. I was a part of this world now. It's alright if I was just another piece of data here, I was free. And here I had a real friend. Here I could do what I secretly always wanted to do, I could act as protector for those digimon victimized by rogues trying to kill them for their data. At fourteen I had finally found my station in life. Most people never get there that early. 

But, Cyberdramon... I hope I can find him again. There may be plenty of digimon willing to be my partner, but Cyberdramon understood me. He understood the wild nature I tried to keep locked up in my heart and channeled it for me. I'll fester again without him. 

I sighed again as I slumped forward until my forehead touched the sandy stone, ignoring the winds that battered against me. My mind circled back to those kids I ran across, the ones that had inadvertently broken Megadramon's seal. The girl was kinda cute, a little under my age range, but it had been so long since I've seen another human that I reverted to my old Mr. Perfect persona and tried to impress them. It had been so easy, I couldn't help it. Then there was that argument by the campfire. It was their argument, not mine, so I bottled up my anger again and simply let them carry on. Then the girl left. 

I should have said something. Would have taken off myself if I knew that the argument would turn out the way it did. Could have spared them all the stress of a team break-up. Should have, would have, could have. Brilliant, Ryo. At least I got the two partner-less boys together with their other friends. I had even led them to the place that was my home more or less for the past few months, offered them shelter. I hoped that they appreciated the gesture, but I can never be sure. Never was very good at reading other people. 

Have to admit though, I was somewhat grateful when Cyberdramon ran off to battle something else. It's been so long since I've been with other people that it had given me a sense of claustrophobia. 

And here I was, lost in the desert without Cyberdramon's presence. My mind circled around it all, around every memory it could dig up. It reminded me of how I first responded to the full knowledge of the madness that lurked within him, I had been fearful. But did I care? I didn't care then, I didn't care when the kids were staring at him in a mix of awe and fear, I didn't care now. It made him interesting as well as dangerous. It made him different. What can I say, I've come to like 'different'. 

But I wonder sometimes, what would my parents think of how the Digital World changed me? When I left it was to protect them and the rest of the population from Cyberdramon's power, nothing more. Now I travelled with him because I wanted to see the ends of the world. There had been a time when the very idea failed to interest me. 

Yes, it was nice to remember, but Cyberdramon was gone now and wasn't likely to come back for me. I closed my eyes at that thought and huddled closer against the boulder. The winds still lashed against me with the ferocity of a whip. Maybe I didn't deserve to have a digimon partner after all. He could probably do just as well without me and my device cards. 

Something large leaned over me, blocking the winds' assault. Blinking in surprise, I looked up to behold the underside of Cyberdramon's jaw. He was hunched over me. Relief swept over me as a smile tugged at my lips. "Glad you came back." 

Cyberdramon offered nothing more than a grunt, it was rare when he spoke. But I had come to recognize the varying emotions underlying different kinds of grunts and growls. Odd that, I was never able to read another human that well. He had come back simply because he felt like it. 

"We should seek shelter. I don't know how long this sandstorm will last," I stated. Cyberdramon did not budge. All he gave was another grunt. He wasn't going to move, the sandstorm probably didn't bother him. I resigned myself to sitting here for the next few hours. "All right then, we'll stay until the storm passes." 

Much to my surprise I felt his claw wrap around my torso to pull me up from the lee of the boulder. I fought down a rise of momentary panic, he had never done this before. But then I was pulled against his chest and the other claw shielded my face from the wind's onslaught. "Cy... Cyberdramon, why?" 

I blinked in utter astonishment as something that looked like a smirk quirked at his lips. He began moving in a direction I could only assume was westward, settling into a pace that could almost be described as a trot. Wasn't there a settlement in that direction? "To protect." 

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Ajora: I blame this solely on Best Tamers 5, the Ryo and Cyberdramon CD single. The lyrics seem to explain their relationship rather well. 


End file.
